I LOVE  Elk Grove.  I have a stellar track record at this race.   If i might take you back to this race one year ago…. lap 3- after dodging two massive pile ups, I smacked the third one dead on.  i tried to spear tackle the ground, and that didn’t go so well.  the impact was described as “the hardest impact i’ve ever seen that something didn’t get broken”  Allen Lim thought i had a broken collar bone for sure.  while the intensity and quickness of the crash are impressive….records are made to be broken.

this year…. LAP 1……actually half way through LAP ONE.  Who has two thumbs and pulls the dumbass maneuver of the day- This guy (meaning me).  you know that point early in the race, its peaceful, guys are chatting, just rolling along slowly- along comes THAT guy.  smashing the tranquility and reminding every one that this is in fact a race and attacks happen.   but THAT guy had to start it, he had to stir the poop (if you will).  well i was THAT guy.  i had to go a make the first attack sprinting for the second U-turn, made some quick calculations using very difficult algorithms to determine maximum speed possible.  what i didn’t account for was the dirt in the turn.  long story short….. 

First i’d like to thank all of you guys that had wonderful words to say as you rode by.  i did deserve it though.

so grand total (including the time trial)  i’ve made it around this course 3 times with out crashing.  sweet.  as if that wasn’t bad enough….here’s where it get interesting. 

later on that night while sleeping i got up to go to the bathroom.  after a little while (of peeing) i pushed a bit to expedite the process.  the next thing i remember is thinking how hard the bed is…..hard like…..like a bathtub.  i was in fact laying in the bathtub.  Odd.  better go back to bed. 

fast forward to the next morning.  hmmmm blood on my pillow, interesting.  turns out after a short examination of my head that the last nights bathtub incident was in fact me blacking out and knocking my head hard enough for it to bleed a bit.  not to mention some small bruises on my shoulder, collarbone, chin and above my right eye, all of which fall neatly in line with each other like, perhaps, the edge of a bathtub.  again sweet. 

here’s my theory, and remember i have absolutely no medical training what so ever.  the very large hematoma on my left hip (as seen in the above picture, for reference it actually goes to the back of the C on my shorts) took a good amount of blood out of the system lowering my blood pressure.  the relief/relaxation of the mid-night bathroom break lowers the already lowered blood pressure resulting in…….. me smashing my thick skull against the tile.   just in case i might be wrong i’m going to the real doctor just to be safe. 

which brings me back to the catchy title.  I was simply amazed by how many guys where like “dude, you don’t sit down when you pee at night?”  NO,  i don’t.  i would have never thought of it,  i except the idea and will now put it into practice, but NO i never thought to sit down to pee.  i guess i’m the weird one. 

again no pictures so use you imagination…….or

for the record i feel better,  fine even.  ok bye